When people say, “look on the bright side,” or “on a more positive note,” it’s hard not to roll your eyes. Sometimes the positive feels like it doesn’t matter. It’s the horrible stuff happening right now that you can’t get off your mind, and it feels like your only choice is to rant. Once you were done, didn’t it seem like it was a lot worse in your head and you realized maybe you overreacted? A negative mindset can make experiences seem worse when that’s all you focus on. Your mind plays tricks on you.
Appreciating positive things and finding meaning in them is known as gratitude, but being grateful isn’t just considering what is going well. It’s also considering the bad and being able to see the good. You can intentionally shift your negative thoughts into positive opportunities. Dr. Dani Moye, a licensed therapist and gratitude author says, “Gratitude anchors us back toward our inner knowing that we are in control of our peace by how we choose to respond to stress.” You can’t always control the environment or what happens to you, but you can control how you respond and perceive the experience.
Gratitude and Your Health. Some may see gratitude as an insignificant behavior, but there is evidence that there are real psychological health benefits from making gratitude a practice. According to the experts at Mayo Clinic, behavior changes biology. Practicing gratitude has been shown to decrease depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and the risk of disease. And there is more. Gratitude is associated with improved sleep, mood, immunity, and adopting health behaviors.
Focusing on the negative and the things that aren’t going right can start to take over your life and make you feel worse. Instead, focusing on the positive helps to regulate your emotions and minimize sadness, worry, or anger, and may help you feel more connected to others. Do you know someone who is always negative? They’re always complaining, and they are not fun to be around. Being negative drives people away, yet positivity and gratitude can bring people together. This kind of social support decreases loneliness, increases happiness, and improves quality of life.
Gratitude can be viewed as either a trait or a state, but both show association with improved mental health. You may first experience gratitude as a state, or something you feel when you recognize when good things happen. On the other hand, trait is a characteristic you possess as someone who often experiences gratitude, easily recognizing when good things happen, minimizing the stress of the bad stuff. The good news is that with intentional practice, gratitude may become a trait you own.
Take the Gratitude Challenge. The practice of gratitude is powerful. Just like when you practice a sport or a musical instrument, you strengthen and improve your skills. With regular practice, you can also strengthen your gratitude skills. Doesn’t it sound refreshing to practice being grateful? Choose from the exercises below and challenge yourself to make it part of your daily life. Just give it a try when you’re feeling negative or unhappy.
Actually, Count Your Blessings. Don’t think that to be grateful that there needs to be a bad situation that turned out good. Turn that thinking around. Everyday tasks and to-dos are basic reminders of your many blessings. For example, do you dread laundry? Think about how amazing it is that you have so many different types of clothes and bedding to wash. Do you find yourself complaining about driving your children to their activities? Instead, view those times in the car as special moments where you have your kids to yourself, and share this exercise with your child! The beauty is that it can be done anytime and anywhere and will often lead to your recognizing more blessings!
Keep a Gratitude Journal. You can do this quickly before you turn the lights out at night. If you have a few extra minutes to write, be specific about what you’re grateful for. Ask yourself why what you’re writing means so much to you. The more detail you recall in a special memory, when you need a boost, you can look back and remind yourself of all the positive things. There is no blessing too big or too small.
Incorporate Gratitude Stop Signs. Life is busy and we do sometimes forget to “stop and smell the roses.” This exercise is to do just that. Stop. Remind yourself of what you are grateful for. Here are some suggestions:
Look at a Rough Situation Through a Different Lens. Are you a “glass half full or half empty” person? This exercise addresses this concept. Ask yourself, how are you going to look at the rough situation at hand? Are you going to be pessimistic or optimistic? Life is more enjoyable when you are optimistic and see the glass as half full. The ability to look for good in all situations increases your ability to navigate difficult times. Take the daily grievances and look for a blessing. There is always good when you look.
Take a Gratitude Walk. Carve out time to get outside for fresh air and a fresh perspective. Taking a walk is good for physical and mental health, especially if you try viewing your surroundings through a thankful lens. Use all your senses and be grateful for what you see, hear, smell, touch, and maybe even taste.
Do a Random Act of Kindness. These are easy. Just smile and say hello. Let someone go ahead of you at the market or hold the door for someone. Fill up the gas tank for your spouse or partner.
Look Someone in the Eye and Say Thank You. Think about those who you cross paths with every day—the coworker at Kwik Trip, the barista who made your latte, the cube mate who held the elevator for you, or your veteran neighbor. Just pick two, every day, and you will reap the benefits.
Write a Letter of Gratitude. Pick someone who made a positive impact on you, perhaps a teacher or coach. Or send a thank you to a grandparent. Once you start thinking about all those who held a meaningful place in your life, you may need to buy more stamps.
Thanksgiving Day may be past this year, but the practice of giving thanks is never done. When you are truly grateful, expressing kindness and love to those around you comes naturally. With practice, there will be days ahead where gratitude will come easily, or days where it may be the key to getting through a tough day. Or even making a mundane day a great one. Having the practice of gratitude in your back pocket can make every day a gift.
Heidi Kutz Lila Tully, CHES
Education Specialist, ViaroHealth Health Education Specialist, ViaroHealth
For questions or comments, please contact wellness@viarohealth.com.